On the glamour of farm life.
I am currently reading the book Geoff got me for Valentine’s Day call Accidental Farmers by Tim Young. Tim and his wife Liz have been doing what Geoff and I are trying to do here for about four years now. They live in Georgia and run Nature’s Harmony Farm. When I finish I’ll do a detailed book report (much more than yesterday). Get ready, because this book is really making me think about what Geoff and I are doing and how we are doing it. I’m finally able to envision a time in the not to distant future when the farm is fully developed and all that we hope it will be. Wait for it.
Now on to the glamour. So yesterday I got home from school and was greeted by the usual parade of birds and mammals. Scooty and Bailey like to charge my car from whatever far afield region of the farm they have been frolicking in, and they actually believe that through the force of their joy they can stop the car. This requires me to slow way down as to not destroy my beloved pets. Also it allows the chickens and guinea fowl time to join in the parade. Once I finally got the car parked I noticed that Bailey and Scooter were being more than their usual amount of crazy, so I decided to hunt for Geoff. I found Geoff looking exhausted and holding the goat crook. Now is when it is important for me to mention that I had just come from the gym.
Geoff to me, “You’re not too tired are you?”
Me to Geoff, “Nah, why?”
“Wanna help me catch some goats?”
“I need to clip their toe nails.”
It is very possible that Geoff said, “I need to trim their hooves,” instead of, ” I need to clip their toe nails.” But there were no witnesses, so I am pretty sure he said toe nails.
The Glamour of Goat Toe Nail Clipping:
1. Chase goats into a make shift trap Geoff has created using the portable rain shelter, the hay rack, and a couple of smurfs who escaped from Gargamel’s lair.
2. Grab a goat by the horns.
3. Chase after that same goat again because it has very strong and has just shaken you off.
4. Chase goats into the smurf trap again.
5. Grab a goat by the horns while someone else that you’re married to grabs the goat’s legs.
6. Get the goat to lie down.
7. Grab your goat toe nail clippers that look just like garden sheers.
8. Carefully trim the nails to be exactly parallel with the fur line at the top of the hoof making sure to not cut the quick while still removing unwanted portions of the nail, any dirt, and all debris that might have collected in the toe area.
9. Repeat step 8 seven times because goats have four feet with two hoofy nail parts on each foot.
10. Get the world’s biggest nail file and smooth out what you just clipped.
11. Chase down five more goats and do it all again.
12. Once you have gotten your goat cardio and done your nail clipping squats, revel in the glamour of your lifestyle while scraping the poop off your shoe.
Glamorous. Flossy. Flossy.