The Chupacabra, the farmer, and you!
Despite Geoff’s most valiant efforts, we appear to be missing two more chickens. Which leads me to only one conclusion–the Chupacabra is alive and well on Chicken Gizzard Ridge.
Oh, what’s that? You are not familiar with the Chupacabra? A quick Google will tell you everything you need to know, but in the interest of time, and science, let me give you the summary of the data.
1. Chupacabra literally translates to the English name Goatsucker. The Chupe, as I like to call him, is a monster of mythical proportions who likes to kill livestock, particularly goats.
2. Chupsy (as I also like to call him) has made appearances everywhere from Puerto Rico, to the border between the US and Mexico, and more recently, near Louisville, KY.
3. People like to stay up late and try and take video and pictures of the mythical Chupacabra, but much like Nessy and Bigfoot, Chupadoop (another pet name) is coquettish and refuses to stand still for pictures.
4. When I went to study in Mexico my Dad asked me to bring him back a Chupacabra.
5. Because Choops is so hard to get a photo of there is some disagreement as to what he actually looks like. He is described as vampire-like, the size of a small bear, and he is thought to have fangs and maybe even a visible exoskeleton.
6. If you study the Chupacabra in detail then you get to learn and use the word cryptozoological. Totally worth it.
7. The Chupacabra may or may not be responsible for the two chickens that we are missing. Normally Choopsy leaves evidence, like a goat caracas sucked dry of blood and vital organs, or scratch marks on a tree, or an inebriated frat boy who has been fishing in the Gulf all day and swears the headless chickens in the bed of his truck had heads the last time he checked.
8. If you need to know more, Animal Planet has created a detailed documentary.
Or you can consult the diagram I created below: