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Chicken parenting, Louisville part deux, and meeting the mayor

June 28, 2010

If you’ve been following Geoff’s updates on the Good Life Ranch web page then you know that sometime in the next 48 hours the U.S Postal service will deliver (or tell us to come pick up) our baby chickens, baby turkeys, and baby guinea fowl. Geoff, like any other proud bird parent has spent the past several days nesting. He calls it a brood house, I call it Chicken Fort Knox, either way, Geoff put a lot of sweat equity into the creation of our impending brood’s childhood home.

Chicken Fort Knox

Chicken Rumpus Room

I spent most of yesterday traveling back to Louisville to return the busted coffee table we purchased and pick up a new one. I may have failed to mention it in previous posts, but Geoff and I live in a dry county. In fact the nearest wet county is three counties away. Taylor county is moist which means you can purchase drinks in restaurants, but there are not bars and there are no liquor stores. As a point of clarification I would like to take this opportunity to mention that I am not an alcoholic and I have no plans to be one. I know I am not an alcoholic because I have never uttered the phrase, “Booze is my momma!” and meant it. Also, I have never suffered the DT’s. Also, I have never used Scope or Manachevitz to satisfy my alcohol needs. I do however enjoy the occasional happy hour, the occasional margarita raised in celebration of a job well done. When you live in a dry county, you have to take happy hour into your own hands. You can’t just hop on over to the local TGI Fridays and celebrate. Our county doesn’t even have a Fridays. We barely have an Arby’s. All of this being said, I took my second trip to Louisville is an opportunity fortify our homestead with the implements of happy hour. Louisville has this lovely chain of stores called “Liquor Barn”. In your mind you are probably envisioning a drab, no frills building filled with booze. You could not be more wrong. Shame on you. Liquor Barn is wonderful. It’s aisles are filled with so many wonderful things–gourmet cooking oils, kentucky sauces and sundries, fancy crackers, and so much more. And, best of all, unlike the Don’s and Ben’s of San Antonio, Liquor Barn was not filled with perverts and alcoholics. In fact, the first three people I saw in the store weren’t even shopping for booze, they were there for the gourmet tapanads. Did I mention I went to the Liquor Barn on a Sunday? Kentucky has a lot of strange liquor laws, but none of them involve the Liquor Barn being closed on Sunday. So I happily, and reverently, pushed my cart up and down the aisles equipping my self for future happy hours with my as yet unidentified Kentucky friends. This is just a hunch, but I am betting my friendly amish neighbor and his farm savvy sons will not be our first happy hour guests. But one day, when I have Kentucky friends, we will sit under the pergola and enjoy the Shiner, and the Beers of Mexico Variety Pack, and the fine selection of Asian beers that I procured yesterday, at the Liquor Barn.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, yesterday when I went to church in town I met the mayor. That’s right, the mayor. The mayor of Campbellsville, a lovely woman who looks like a combination between my friend Ileana and former mayor Kathy Whitmeyer of Houston. If you are not familiar with Mayor Whitmeyer, picture Robin Williams in Tootsie and you have a close approximation. It all happened very casually, as things are wont to in small town KY. We were having the greeting time during church and I was going around making myself known, when this man comes up to me and says, “Welcome, nice to see you. Have you met the mayor?”

“No, no I have not met the mayor.”

“Well there she is.”

I can report that the mayor smells like happiness and has powerful, patriotic hair.

Speaking of patriotism–the fourth of July is a real big deal in Campbellsville. They have three days worth of celebrations. We will be attending EVERYTHING! There is an Abraham Lincoln impersonator, and an Elvis impersonator, and a parade, and a GOSPEL SING ALONG! My level of excitement about the upcoming festivities could not be higher. I think Geoff is excited too, secretly. He entered the fourth of July photo contest in all six categories. The physical therapist who is in charge of the contest thinks he has a good chance of winning. We got a very serious photo contest related phone call this afternoon. Apparently one of the photos (the best one in my opinion) got bent by the nurse at the pt’s office. So that everything is on the up and up they called Geoff to ask if he would like the opportunity to resubmit the picture. Geoff did not feel the need to resubmit–bold choice. Hopefully the judges will see the beauty beyond the bend. I will report the official results of the contest as soon as they are made public. Until then, happy almost fourth of July!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Bonnie Brawner permalink
    June 28, 2010 10:29 PM

    Clarifying questions: 1) what, exactly, is a chicken rumpus room? And 2) what does happiness smell like? (besides the mayor, of course.)

  2. Vikki Walton permalink
    June 29, 2010 8:42 AM

    Shiners? Beers of Mexico? Asian beer? You’re in Kentucky. Learn to make mint julep.

  3. June 29, 2010 1:59 PM

    Why does your blog not have a “like” button? Because I’d be pressing that thing all up and down right now.

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