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Will Jump for Food

April 3, 2010

Unemployable

As I have mentioned before, Scooter is unemployable. This fact continues to be true. In our backyard garden there used to be seven stalks of corn growing. Now there are five. Was it a mysterious corn blight? Was it hurricane force winds? No, it was a 46 pound San Antonio street dog and his love of whimsy. Scooter is a romper and as such likes to folic and romp throughout the backyard. Undaunted in his romping, he sees nothing as a barrier, especially not a raised planting bed. And so the harvest diminished.

Other factors contributing to Scooter’s unemployment include the fact that bugs, especially flying bugs prove so distracting that Scooter can’t even recognize the sound of his own name when he is hunting a bug. Additionally, he cannot leave a trash can or other similar container undisturbed. It is as if recyclables, food scraps, and in particular anything disposed of in the bathroom trash can speak to him in a language only he can here. I imagine it goes a little something like this:

Q-tip: Scoooooter…

Scooter: What?

Q-tip: Scoooooter…

Scooter: Leave me alone, I’m trying to cut back.

Q-tip: C’mon, man. It’s not going to hurt you.

Scooter: No way, I quit the junk. I’m off that stuff.

Q-tip: You know you’d just love to take a walk on the wild side one more time. Feed the dragon, man. You know you want to.

Scooter: I don’t need you. I’ve got a bone…and a twist tie that I found in neutral territory. I don’t need you.

Q-tip: Hey, I’m not alone, Dental Floss and Kleenex miss you too man. Come on. Just this once. Nobody has to know.

Scooter: Nobody has to know?

Q-tip: How could they possibly? This is just between us.

Scooter: Hmmm…okay…but just this once. Nobody has to know.

Q-tip: Whatever you say, man.

Umm, excuse me Q-tip, but everyone has to know. When Scooter gets into the trash believe me, everyone knows. And so, Scooter is decidedly unemployable.

Bailey on the other hand is showing signs of promise. She has been a little bummed lately due primarily to the lack of squirrels in the rental house yard and the increased amount of time she’s had to spend

with Scooter lately because of the absence of the electric door. Anyway. as a special treat we took Bailey with us to the Pearl Brewery Farmers Market this morning. She did very well and I feel pretty confident that we will be able to employ her at our farmers market stall once we get things up and running in Kentucky. Scooter’s only hope will be if I can get him into some sort of competitive dog jumping program. The kid can jump like nobody’s business. He is exceptionally creative in his jumping. If anyone hears of any dog jumping programs or any jump-to-work transition programs I’d be glad to learn more about them. Until then, Scooty remains on the dole. And the corn suffers.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Bonnie Brawner permalink
    April 3, 2010 9:35 PM

    You know how they have Greeters at certain stores? Perhaps you need a greeter on the farm…a job that Scooter the social butterfly might be particularly suited for.

  2. indoorsy permalink
    April 3, 2010 10:57 PM

    Chase the dragon…not feed it. Not that I know. But it’s chase. not feed.

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